You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
