This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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