just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
