We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
