I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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