After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
