I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize