I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
