I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
