Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
