I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
