i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
