Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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