Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
