I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
