Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
