i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have surprise drugs for everyone
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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