is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
