i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
