Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
