I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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