brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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