I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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