I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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