I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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