Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
