Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
