The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
