Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
