Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
