Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish i was in the wii world.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
