My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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