I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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