It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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