FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
