Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize