So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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