I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
