I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
