you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize