Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
