remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
