I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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