he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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