o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
