You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
they call him Oral-B. enough said
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
