A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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