john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
zippers are such a cool invention
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No subtext here. People are naked.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
