Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry thtswhtshesaid hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(407): View more from Florida

You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld

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(720): View more from Colorado

the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.

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(206): View more from Washington

he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy

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(678): View more from Georgia

so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.

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(804): View more from Virginia

So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.

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