By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
