just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
