just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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