So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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