Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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