plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize