dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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