he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
