New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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