going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
