jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Pants are for mortals
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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