they need to just BURY HIM!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize