im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
