She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
nut hugger
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
